


Emotion

by chartreuseblueandyellow



Category: MacGyver (TV 2016)
Genre: 5x10, F/M, Like we all know this fic was coming, what happens after the episode ends
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-10
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-16 20:13:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29955279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chartreuseblueandyellow/pseuds/chartreuseblueandyellow
Summary: Emotions aren’t a science. You can’t control them.Mac had said that to Riley, but there was a part of him that knew he was talking about himself.
Relationships: Riley Davis/Angus MacGyver (MacGyver TV 2016)
Comments: 28
Kudos: 87





	Emotion

**Author's Note:**

> Honestly, I’m not quite sure how I feel about this.  
> Obviously I just had to write about what happens when the episode ends, but because I wanted to try and write it according to where they are mentally + make sure it fits in with what happens in the next episode, I just couldn’t write a romantic moment even though I wanted to. 
> 
> Also, I really hadn't intended it for this to happen, but somehow my macriley fic turned into Mac and Bozer talking about Riley's feelings, but given that we didn't get to see it on the ep, I find that I didn't actually mind (hence me keeping it that way)
> 
> Anyways, lemme know what u guys think, enjoy :)

_Emotions aren’t a science. You can’t control them._

Mac had said that to Riley, but there was a part of him that knew he was talking about himself.  
He’d been so… confused… lately about his emotions towards her. There’d been many times where he’d thought he might feel… something more for Riley. But how could that be? He was still with Desi and things were going great between them. They’d been agreeing on things, weren’t arguing, and were having normal couple moments outside of work. He’d been ready to marry her for god sakes! Surely that was proof enough that his and Desi’s relationship was good?

No, whatever he was feeling about Riley must just be appreciation that she was a constant through everything he’d gone through, after all, there was no denying she was one of the most important people in his life.  
Yes, that’s what it must be, and Mac ignored that part of his brain saying otherwise.

But if that was all it was, why was he walking to Riley’s house right now instead of Desi’s?  
Why, after studying the ring, had he felt that it was… wrong … to marry Desi after what he'd learnt about Riley's feelings, and why hadn’t he been able to stop his mind from taking a backseat while his instinct seemingly took over, and he'd been in front of Riley's door before he even realised it?

Not quite ready to answer those questions yet, he hesitated slightly before knocking on her door. A few moments later, the door opened, and though she initially looked surprised to see him, after quickly scanning him and clearly seeing something on his face, concern filled hers as she asked, “everything okay?”

Mac faltered slightly. Because he hadn’t exactly planned to show up on her doorstep, he didn’t know what to say, but given that this was Riley, and Desi’s comment about a ‘clean slate’ fresh on his mind, he opted to go straight for the truth.  
“I can’t pretend that the last 24 hours didn’t just happen -” Riley’s eyes widened slightly, “- they did. So I got to ask... did it work?”

Confusion filled her face.  
“Did what work?”

“Hiding your emotions and letting them pass -” he stared intently at her, hoping to read any expressions she might have, “- did they go away?”

Riley stared at him then blinked a few times while looking away, but Mac kept his eyes on her, his heart pounding in his chest in anticipation.  
Finally looking back up at him, meeting his eyes, she slowly nodded.  
“It’s working... well, I’m working on making it work.”

His heart sank.

If he wasn't sure of his feelings for Riley, then why did it seem like his heart had already decided the matter?  
But why had she said working instead of worked? Why had she said it in a present tense rather than past, implying that it wasn’t a done deal yet, that her feelings for him weren’t completely gone.  
Mac glanced quickly down at Riley’s hands, and suddenly hope rose in him.  
Riley liked moving her hands around while talking, or at the very least, she had them loose by her side, but what a lot of people didn’t know was that when she was lying, telling a half truth, or not fully comfortable with what she was saying, her hands stayed perfectly still, and right now, they were frozen solid.

She still had feelings for him.

But she must have her reasons for her answer and he obviously wasn't going to push her, so he only nodded.  
"Okay," but not quite ready to leave yet, he asked, "can I come in?"  
Riley paused, unsure, so he quickly added, "but if you're not comfortable with it I get it, and I promise I won't be offended if you say no." 

She didn't immediately answer, and Mac was ready to leave when she chuckled lightly and said, "yeah, come in. I refuse to let things get awkward between us, so back to normal it is."

Mac didn't exactly want things to go back to how they'd always been, but he understood what she meant, so said, "yup, definitely not going to let things get awkward. After everything that's happened, I can't lose you too." 

She studied him for a moment and he stayed still while she did, not sure what was going through her mind, but happy to let her go over it, when a sudden voice from inside her apartment almost made him jump.  
“Riley, who is it?”

Mac's heart suddenly froze.  
Had he been wrong? Had she really moved on? But a split second later his mind registered that it Bozer’s voice, and walking in and seeing him on couch, Mac said, “hi Boze.”

Bozer stood up, stared at him in confusion, turned to Riley, then back at him again.  
"What are you doing here?" 

Mac couldn't answer his question. Not because he didn't want to, though admittedly that was part of it, but more importantly, he wasn't sure he _himself_ knew the answer to that, but all he said was, "a lot happened today so I just, I just wanted to come and make sure Riley was okay."

Out of the corner of his eye, Mac could see that Riley seemed slightly confused, though she hid it well. Obviously she knew that he wasn't exactly telling the truth, after all, with their conversation at the door, he hadn't asked anything of the sort. Thankfully, she didn't point it out. 

Bozer on the other hand, seemed to grow even more confused and he asked, “so instead of texting or calling, you show up at her door at -” he checked his phone, “- at 10.15 at night?”

Nothing got past Bozer, especially this, but he refused to say anything else because it would make Riley uncomfortable and he just couldn't have that. Besides, he also just didn't want to. Not before he could make sense of what was happening in his head anyway, so he just shrugged.  
"Yeah."

Bozer didn't seem convinced though, and he turned to look at Riley again and a look passed between them, one Mac couldn't discern, but pretending he didn't see it, he walked further into the room.  
Looking from Bozer to him, Riley asked, "you want a drink?"

"Sure."

Riley nodded and walked to the kitchen and Bozer looked at him with an eyebrow raised.  
"So you're here at Riley's pretty late."

"Well so are you."

Bozer laughed, not missing the fact Mac had ignored the hinted-at question, but he let it go.  
"Well yeah. I wasn't going to let Riley be alone after what had been… revealed, and she wasn't going to let me be alone after the… the news about Leanna."

Bozer's face fell as he mentioned his former girlfriend and Mac felt his heart clench at the pain etched on his best friends' face.  
Pulling him in for a hug, Mac held him tightly and said, “I know I said this before, but I’m _so sorry_ about Leanna.”  
Melting into him, Bozer nodded but said nothing.

They held each other for a few moments before finally letting go, and as Riley walked back into the room holding a few bottles of beer, she sadly smiled at them.  
“Boze and I were just talking about it. Leanna loved hiking, so tomorrow we were planning on going to Griffith Park and having a picnic with all her favorite foods at the top. Wanna join?”

“Of course.”

She nodded, and handing him a bottle, said, “for now though, me and Boze were planning on watching a movie.”

After taking a sip, Mac said, “yeah, sounds good. What are we watching?”

“Haven’t decided yet,” and turning to Bozer, she added, “your choice.”

“Well I don’t want anything serious where people die -” understandable, “- so let’s go with… let’s go with white chicks.”

Mac had to smile, he should’ve seen that coming. It was one of Bozer's all time favourite movies and Mac had seen it a few times because of that. Riley smiled as well, though hers was slightly sad, and she said, “yeah, Leanna really liked that movie too.”  
That reminded Mac that Riley had been quite close friends with Leanna, and Bozer nodded, smiling sadly as well. Clearly that was one of the reasons he’d chosen it. 

Mac looked at the couch which was right in front of the TV and then at the armchairs which would give them a side view. It would be a tight fit if they all sat on the couch, but feeling like it would be what Bozer would want, he asked, “couch?”

They both nodded, and he turned to look at Riley.  
As much as he’d want to sit next to her, Mac knew that Bozer loved physical affection, especially when in need of comfort, and so even though it didn’t sound appealing to him personally, Mac knew that Bozer would want to sit in the middle squashed between them.  
Riley, as always, seemed to understand his look and nodded as she sat on one end of the couch and he took the other.  
Bozer, realising what they were doing, smiled softly as he sat in the middle. 

It wasn’t as uncomfortable as Mac thought it’d be, but he was pressed against the side, his shoulders and legs pressed against Bozer’s, and on the other side, he could see that Riley was in the same position. But looking at Bozer’s face, Mac could see that he loved it so it was definitely worth it.  
Settled in, they turned on the movie, and though Bozer's laughter at the comedy started off quiet and slightly sad, after Riley looped her arm through his and Mac rested his head on top of his, Bozer’s laughter started sounding more like him, and Mac could tell he was letting himself enjoy the movie.

Mac tried hard to do the same, to keep his mind on the present, being there for Boze. The many times when his thoughts veered to Riley, to wonder what she was thinking, and if she had to concentrate as hard on the movie as he was, he forced himself to reel his mind back in.  
But it was hard.  
The entire movie, he would be watching and then his mind would go to Riley’s face as Murdoc spilled her secret, or wondering if it had really worked, or if it hadn’t.  
Lifting his head up from Bozer’s on the pretense to grab another beer from the few Riley had out on the table, he looked and saw that they were both engaged with the movie, and resting his head back on Bozer, and decided to do the same.

But that didn’t last very long.  
Though his eyes were on the movie, his mind was on him and Riley standing outside the building after Murdoc and Andrews had been caught.  
He recognized how hard it must’ve been for her to admit to his face that she’d had feelings for him, ones she tried to push away. He’d meant it when he’d said that she didn’t have to explain, but she’d shared anyay, regardless of how awkward it might get, just to reassure him that they were still as solid as ever and that she wasn’t going to let this change things.  
How could he have not hugged her after that?

The song from the ending credits forced back into the present, and yawning, Bozer said, “well, I guess Mac and I should get going.”  
Mac nodded, agreeing. He should really head home now. 

Frowning slightly, Riley said, "we've had a bit to drink, and besides, I'm sure you guys are just as tired as I am, so just crash here. Though I only have one guest bed and it's pretty much a storage room at this point." 

Mac didn’t know why, but he felt happy that she asked, and was about to say that that was fine, when Bozer got there first.  
“Oh that’s all good, in fact, it’s not our first time sharing a bed.”

Surprise crossed Riley's face, then with a teasing grin and an eyebrow raised she asked, "oh? Please do tell."

Mac laughed, shaking his head, and grinning as well, Bozer said, "well apart from the many times we fell asleep on the couch while living together, we had many sleepovers when we were young, and baby Mac and baby Bozer always shared a bed.”

A large smile lighting up her face, Riley said, "you guys are _adorable_.”

“But that’s not all! We’d huddle under the covers and Mac would create a projector kind of thing with a flashlight, a paper background, and cut outs of silhouettes, and I’d come up with and narrate stories about them.”

Mac met Bozer’s eyes and grinned. He remembered all the times they’d done that and recalling those memories created a warmth in his chest.  
Turning to Riley, he saw that her eyes were filled with warmth as she looked at the both of them, and smiling, she said, “that’s the _cutest_ thing I’ve ever heard,” but genuine smile turning into a teasing one, she added, “if you rummage around through the stuff I have in that room, you might find everything you need to recreate that.”

Bozer laughed, and feigning offense, Mac said, “I’m sure I can build a better projector now than when I was _eight_ , thank you very much.”  
Bozer laughed harder, and shaking her head while smiling, Riley got up and said, “well, I’ll leave you guys too it. Help yourselves to whatever you need.”  
They nodded, knowing she meant it, and walking behind the couch on her way to her room, she ruffled Boozer's hair as she passed him, illicting an outraged cry from him and a smile from her.

Her smile faded slightly however, as she seemed to hesitate, but a fraction of a second later, she gently put her hand on his head too, combing her fingers softly through his hair, and Mac closed his eyes as he absorbed her touch. It wasn’t the playful, almost sibling-esque, action she’d had for Bozer. It was… different. 

Lifting her hand, Mac feeling the loss of contact, Riley said, “well, um… goodnight guys.”

He nodded as he heard Riley walk out of the room, but he still felt the ghost of her hand on him, and slowly opening his eyes, Mac saw Bozer staring at him with a hint of a knowing smile on his face.  
Not quite ready to answer his questions though, he stood up and asked, “to bed?”

Thankfully Boze said nothing and nodded, and soon enough they were under the covers in the bed of Riley’s guest room. With everything running around in his mind though, Mac wasn’t quite ready to sleep yet, and he could just _feel_ that Bozer had things he wanted to say. Knowing what Bozer would ask, and not ready to answer that, Mac decided to ask something first, and given that there was one thing that’d been on his mind since he’d heard the recording, Mac quietly asked, “you knew?"

Bozer obviously knew exactly what he was talking about and replied, "yeah, yeah I did." 

That had kind of been a rhetorical question, because _obviously_ Bozer had known, but there was something else that Mac didn’t know.  
"How'd you know? Did Riley tell you?"

"Nah, I figured it out."

Bozer had figured it out? So how had he, someone who was very close to Riley, not figured it out as well?  
“You did?”

Somehow sensing why he was asking, Bozer chuckled slightly and said, "trust me man, she made sure she hid it deep down when you were around, you couldn’t have figured it out.”

Mac wasn’t too sure about that, but something else from the recording coming to mind, he said, "I can't believe she moved because of me. I loved living with her and when she left I was sad because I thought she felt the same, but I respected her choice and her need for her own individual space. But after hearing that conversation between you two," Mac angrily shook his head, "I cant believe that, even though I didn't want to, _I_ forced her out."

Mac heard Bozer shake his head.  
"You can't blame yourself man. You definitely didn't force her out, she chose to leave."  
Mac wasn't quite sure he agreed with Bozer, but said nothing as he continued.  
"Think about it from her perspective, Mac. It was hurting her to see you and Desi together, but there was no way she'd ever do something to get between you two, so she left to give herself a chance to get over you."

Mac reluctantly nodded, understanding where Bozer was coming from, but it all came back to one thing.  
"I cant believe I didn't know."

"You gotta let that go, Mac, Riley didn't want you to know, so there was no chance that you were ever going to know."  
But Mac disagreed. He knew Riley well, well at least he thought he did, and he thought that he'd been able to read her body language to at least have some inkling about her feelings, but Bozer’s voice pulled him away from his thoughts.  
"Hey Mac?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry that I told Riley about your proposal plans and that Murdoc knew because of that, but I just had to give her a heads up even though -"

"It's okay Boze. Really," and he really meant it. One of the things he loved most about Boze was that he was the best friend anyone could have, so how could he be annoyed at him for wanting to protect Riley?

"I'm glad." 

The silence lasted a few long moments before Bozer broke it.  
"So… what's the deal Mac?"

He knew exactly what Bozer was asking, but wasn't quite ready to answer it, so feigning ignorance said, "the deal with what?"

Bozer however, wasn't fooled.  
"Don't try to play me Mac. You know _exactly_ what I'm talking about." 

Mac sighed, and picking at the edge of the bedsheets replied, "I don't know what to tell you Boze, because, _honestly_ , I don't really know myself."  
Bozer stayed quiet, letting him get this off his chest, and finding a loose thread on the sheet and playing with it, Mac continued.  
"There's just so much going on in my head, and you know I'm not the best with processing my emotions and all that on a normal day, but all of this? -" he shook his head, "- _light years_ away from normal."  
Bozer chuckled, and after smiling softly at the reaction, Mac frowned slightly as he pondered out loud.  
"Do I have feelings for Riley? Given how I've reacted to everything, maybe I do. But I haven't figured them out yet and there's no chance in hell that I'm going to act on anything that I'm not sure of. I can't do that to Riley. I can't lose her like that."

"That's fair."

Mac nodded, glad that Bozer agreed, and he added, "Also, I don't want it to seem as if I'm having feelings for her just because I could be confident that she'll like me back, that I won’t be rejected."

Bozer's soft laughter filled the room.  
"Trust me man. No one's going to think that."

Mac frowned.  
"What do you mean?"

Chuckling, Bozer replied, “I mean, that’s just not possible. I’ve known you for _forever_ Mac, and I know the kind of person you are and that you’d never do that. Besides, if Riley’s feelings were truly one sided, I don’t think you’d be this shaken up about the revelation.”  
Mac nodded, he couldn't really argue with that, but Bozer wasn’t done yet.  
“And anyway, if you only had feelings for her after you found out about hers for you, then why, way back in quarantine, would you tell me that you’d had a _moment_ with her?”

Mac paused as he thought about it again. Even though he’d called it a moment between him and Riley, Mac had thought that he was the only one to have realised that there had been something… special, something different about it. But maybe Riley, given that at that point she must’ve known of her own feelings, maybe she had also felt it, and because she was sure of what she felt, maybe she recognised what that moment had meant.  
Trying to explain it to Bozer, he said, “that moment, it wasn’t, it wasn’t weird, it was just… different. There was just this different… energy, I guess… between us, and moment is the only way I could describe it.”

Bozer stayed quiet for a moment, as if digesting his answer, before asking another question.  
“Answer me this, Mac. I know your plans got disrupted today, but are you going to ask Desi again? Are you still going to propose to her?”

The answer came out of him before he could even think about it.  
“No. No, I don’t think I will.”

“Okay. And tell me, why’s that?”

“I… I just… I just can’t.”  
His confusion about his feelings for Riley aside, Mac was starting to realise that he couldn’t marry Desi just because they were having a good couple of months.  
But Mac couldn’t fool himself, if Riley’s confession hadn’t gotten out, he’d probably have asked Desi, whether it was or wasn’t the right thing for him to do.  
And if it had been as simple as she used to have feelings for him, and if he’d known in his gut that marrying Desi was the right thing to do, he’d have still done it regardless.  
But clearly it wasn’t that simple.  
As a friend, his family, and one of the most important people in his life, he loved Riley, there was no doubt about it. But as something more… Mac had to admit that there was something there, and though it wasn’t love just quite yet, he knew it very easily had the potential to be. 

But he didn’t know what to do about any of it, so he allowed himself to push it away for now to get some sleep. Even though he knew that Bozer wouldn’t, Mac couldn’t help but ask, “can you please not tell Riley about… all this?”

“Of course,” and chuckling, he added, “the things I know about the two of you because you both confess things to me…”

Her unclear reply at the door coming to mind, he couldn’t help but ask, “what did she say?”  
He heard Bozer snap his head towards him, and even though he couldn’t see his friends’ face in the darkness, he could just _feel_ his disapproving stare and chuckling, immediately added, “yeah I know, my bad, I know you’re not going to answer and I shouldn’t have asked.”

He heard Bozer turn his head back while laughing, and he said, “I’ve taught you well my young padawan, I’ve taught you well.”

Mac laughed and it felt like some of the weight had come off of his shoulders, and a comfortable silence falling over them, reminding him of all his childhood sleepovers where things had been much simpler, Mac smiled. Settling into his pillow, he said, "goodnight Boze."

"Night Mac."

**Author's Note:**

> Originally I was going to have Riley lie and say that it worked, but after reading a post on tumblr about why she wouldn’t do that, I was also convinced of the fact and had to make some changes. Hopefully this is more accurate.


End file.
